It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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