I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
