i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
