At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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