apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
