Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
