I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i out mim tonsoeep
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