And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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