So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just had sex bonerless
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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