i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
