Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He passed out mid-signature
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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