I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
birth control should be required to get into college
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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