I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
