it's not cheating when I paid for it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
