I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
