Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
