I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
