I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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