singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
