well you can't waste a boner
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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