I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
