Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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