Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
