i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm sobbing to NWA
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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