Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I should injure you considerably.

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(407): View more from Florida

Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.

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(210): View more from Texas

As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner

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(310): View more from California

Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?

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