wrigley field is MILF paradise
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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