It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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