maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
