Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
