so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
