i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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