Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
