the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
