That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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