We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
