Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
