There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I can't put those talents on a resume
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
