sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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