Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
