I'm lost and stupid without you.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
