why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
