Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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