It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
