You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
