I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize