weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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