Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
