have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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