Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
