I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
