I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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