I accidentally had phone sex last night
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
