16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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