I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
