He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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