Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
