google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize