You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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