Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
