twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
