Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
