you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
