You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
