No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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