I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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