who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I can feel your judgement through the phone
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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